Rustler.
https://store.steampowered.com/app/844260/Rustler/
Embark on a mission to find the Holy Grail, help the nobleman in becoming a gangster rapper, fire someone who believes the Earth is round from a trebuchet, or choose others from the huge range of absurd tasks available in-game
So, you can either keep sitting on your buttocks, do nothing about it, waiting for your sad life to come to an end, or you can try to get out there, earn a coin or two, have fun with the ladies, drink a beer or ten, and get everything that you’re currently missing. Legally or illegally; that’s secondary. What matters is having it all, having it now, and preferably with as little effort as possible.